Heh, so no one wants a 'toise on stilts? What a shame! :)
So, I'm topless. I've been strutting about topless for most of the day. This is because none of my summer tops fit. They're all too short and too tight, and anything that fits is too hot. I struggled with uncomfortable items until lunchtime when I finally though, sod it. No one's going to see. If anyone catches a glimpse then it serves them right for looking in someone else's window. It's been absolutely boiling again today. I even took a shower and I *detest* showers. I'm a bath girl.... but I think a bath would probably have melted me.
I've had a fantastic day. I got a big bag and loaded up all the pills, painkillers and so-called natural remedies that haven't worked over the years and binned the lot. I don't even know why I kept hold of them all. I suppose I had some vague hope that one day the potions that didn't work would magically aquire effectivity. There were 5 different brands of pill, 3 brands of painkiller and goodness knows how many other tablets of various sorts going in the bin. Now my bedside cabinet is nice and neat... and only has about 8 different medicines instead of 80 in :)
And I've been burying myself in Bugs. Not insects, because that would be horrible. I mean the programme, the one which held me in obsession for so many years. It's still creeping back, which pleases me. Have you any ideas how long it's been since I felt the power of obsession? I've missed it terribly. Obsessions are great! Laura left me a message earlier about the feeling of obsession and she became the only person I've ever heard put into words the way it feels. I thought I was alone with my telly obsessions. Not so :)
I even had a Bugs video on this morning. It's strange but it had almost become too painful to watch, knowing there would never be any more episodes. I'd never again feel that power of awaiting the next show, the build up through the day until evening fell, the checking and double checking of cassettes, the back-up recording in case the first broke down. I've had many obsessions over the years, all-consuming, all-absorbing obsessions, but Bugs was the most powerful.
There was also Red Dwarf, Sonic the Hedgehog, The Brittas Empire, Out Of This World, The Miraculous Mellops, The X Files, Reboot, Halfway Across the Galaxy and Turn Left, Parallel 9, Drop the Dead Donkey, Men Behaving Badly and probably a few more that I can't recall right now. But none like Bugs.
It was a fandom that was bloody hard work. With most other things there's a steady stream of merchandice. take The X-Files, for example. You can't walk into a shop without seeing at least one product linked to it. But Bugs.... there's just nothing, except for the videos of the episodes and the set of paperbacks from the first series. That means that every tiny cutting became twice as powerful. every picture, every snippet of information, every glimpse or suggestion of it.
I miss the feeling on *that* date every month when *this* magazine or *that* magazine was released. It was usually a thursday. I got to know the release dats of every cult TV and sci-fi magazine and I'd go to the local newsagent on my way to college first thing, and even make them open up the packages of magazines to see if they had arrived. There would be a pounding of my heart and a light feeling buzzing through my limbs as I trotted to college, the magazine burning a hole in my bag, and with excitment I'd flip through each page in the hope there would be the tiniest mention. Usually I'd be disappointed, and console myself with a thought of, "oh well - it's Cult Times this time next week. maybe then."
And then when the time actually came, it was better than christmas. The tuesday before each episode I would run down to the paper shop and snatch up all the TV magazines for that week with every tiny mention of Bugs in them. If there was a good picture of Jaye in one then I would buy two so I could have one on my wall and keep one for good. And then on the saturday I'd race down all over again and buy all the newspapers, which would practically slice a hole in my hand as I tried to carry them back.
I'd be a clock-watcher all day. my mind would give me a countdown:-
"Six hours 'til Bugs..... five hours 'til Bugs...."
And then when it got down to the last half an hour I;d feel like I had ants in my pants - I'd be fidgetting like crazy and running upstairs and down, checking one video tape and then the other, making sure the back-up was ready and that all tapes were in the right places. then finally, as the lottery drew to a close I'd press record upstairs, race down and position myself a few inches from the screen. My heartrate would increase until it felt as though my heart may thump straight out of my chest and I'd flush red across my cheeks.
My finger would be hovering over record and my mouth would go dry. I'd lick my lips, barely feeling able to wait for the anticipation to be over and the episode to be on. The trailors before it would feel like a lifetime. they would seem endless - and pointless. Until finally the BBC globe of the time would appear and a voice over would begin, "And, now on BBC1..."
That's when my finger would hit the button and I'd check, double check and triple check the channel on the video was correct. Then the pre-title sequence would begin and my whole body would fill with pins and needles of anticipation. As the opening bars of the theme tune would begin, I would finally know it was time again and I would become lost in my obsession for the next 50 minutes. I wouldn't hear a thing from the outside world. It was just me, and it.
And then, before I knew it, the 50 minutes had passed and the blue screen appeared with the titles scrolling up. I'd feel contented, elated and yet disappointed that it was all over.
But that didn't matter. I knew I'd go through it all again the next week :)
If you've never felt like that about a 'thing' - a TV show, a film, a band, a book - anything - then I can only assure you that you're missing out on the most wonderful thing. As a result of my obsession I wrote almost 100 books, I drew over 60 Bugs portraits, I walked for miles round London to spot locations and I made some good friends (and some not so good ones.)
One of those poor friends got a random message about something effervescent today, but we'll gloss over that and pretend I'm sensible :)
Yup, obsessions. They're great things. I'm off to obsess about some slices of ham now. See you tomorrow! :)
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