Boo :)
It's been almost 2 months since I last wrote in here. I must admit that the last two months have been busier than I could ever have imagined. I miss writing here but I've yet to resume the energy to do so. I am keeping positive that one day it will return for me to pick up where I left off here, but it's just going to take a little while. I'm not sure how much it would even mean to anyone if I did start writing here again. I have tried to keep up reading my buddy list, but I feel like I've missed out on so much.
I'm still writing here and I do so several times a day. Livejournal has opened up a lot since I've had one there. You no longer need a code to set up a journal so more people have joined the site and I must admit that I really enjoy it. The user icons are bloody addictive ;) You know, you can always drop by and say hello, anytime. Although all the juicy stuff is friends only, so you'd need to be on Livejournal to read it ;D
So, what am I doing back today? Well, my birthday is four days away. It's on this Friday, the 27th, and I will be 24. I've been feeling extremely reflective the last few days and thinking about how much things had changed from my last birthday. Over the course of the last year everything has shifted and changed. And only in good ways, which is the most amazing part.
Aren't I supposed to be 'feeling old' by now? Aren't you supposed to start moaning about how old you feel the day you pass 21? because I don't. I met up with my dog-loving ex for the first time in years, last thursday, and she was saying the exact same thing. We're supposed to joke about how life is passing us by and how we're old and wrinkly, but I don't understand that at all. It's this culture; this culture that wants us all to moan about feeling old on our birthdays because it's some sort of new tradition. I don't feel old. I still feel like a kid. I spend my weekends watching Dick and Dom In Da Bungalow and I watch Blue's Clues before work every morning - hell knows, I don't feel old! I'm not even growing up yet.
What do I feel? I feel happy and loved. I have two people in my life whom I love, and who I am in love with. It feels natural and wonderful. I have friends who make me feel happy and blessed. And I have been reunited with old friends who I've not seen in years and discovered that they haven't changed a bit.
What don't I feel? Healthy. The only thing I am dreading about my birthday is the fact that it is a reminder of the time that, two years ago, I had the operation during which I contracted both Glandular Fever and a terror of hospitals, and ended up with CFS. It's been getting worse lately, but I've been dealing with it better than I used to so it just about evens out.
And wonderful things have been happening in my work-life. My new boss at work ('proper' job) is letting me get into a number of new projects and encouraging me in my goal to train as a counsellor. And my other boss (tattoos) gave me some amazing news last week, that I now have my own page on her website for my designs and that she's branching out and creating a whole site just for flash, which she wants to discuss in detail with me later this week. I feel at last like I have actually made it. At last I've stopped feeling like the annoying girl who turns up occasionally with a folder full of designs. I really feel like a part of it.
I'm heading up on Thursday with my latest set of sheets and to discuss web promotion and design... and I may, um, have a rather delicate piercing while I'm there. That is, a pair of delicate piercings.... ;D
And on Friday, I turn a year older, but not a year wiser. I will not mature. I have made my decision never to grow up.
But I do hope that the new year of my life brings with it a little more energy, at least enough to return to here. I miss all of you. I keep trying to write, but somehow my mind is too tired to create the words. I really miss this little text box being my friend and absorbing everything that I had seen that day. It all goes in the Livejournal text box now, complete with pretty icon of choice. But even if it's a year or more before I really feel I can return here and keep up with this diary again, Diaryland will always have a place in my heart. I met a certain special someone here ;) *winks*
Happy birthday to me - and please may I have some snow on Friday?
Or naked girls. They would be even better! xxxxx
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