The first couple of days of my weeks have been fantastic. Y is currently out on yet another mission for Vimto lollies (it's become an obsession that we constantly fail in! Wah!) and to check bus times while I'm sneaking on to update and check my emails. Things which pleased me number one: Getting an email from S at the tattoo place who will be doing my latest addition next week, on friday 12th september. It's a small tattoo on my toe because I have been fascinated with the idea ever since I saw a lady with a toe tattoo and matching nail varnish through flip-flops on the tube.
Things which displeased me, number 1: The lack of sausages yesterday. No, that's not a metaphor for anything... Gah, I warned Y this entry would be full of innuendo! No, seriously, when I'm at Y's we have a nice, healthy breakfast of sausages and bacon on a sunday, but our plans were scuppered this time but a strange Manchester Sausage Shortage.
When he went to do the shopping before I arrived, they had no Richmond's sausages (our favourites) in Sainsburys. He says it looked very spooky, one huge empty patch on the shelf where they were supposed to be and all the other brands still around it. But, no matter - they sell them at the Co-op just down the road so there was no need to panic.
But yesterday, Y set off on a sausage mission (no pork jokes here, please!) and came back empty handed. Not only did the co-op not have any Richmonds sausages, but they didn't have any other brands either! It was a mysterious sausage disapearance. Not to be detered, he tried a larger store just down the road - but they had no sausages of any brand either!
So what could have caused this mysterious Manchester Sausage Shortage? Did everyone wake up yesterday morning and think, "Oh, YES! It's a sausage day today!" and storm the shops? Or are there some cruel sausage touts who buy up all the supplies and sell them in for extortionate prices?? - "Pssst, wanna buy a sausage?!"
Even more alarmingly, Y noted that yet another hairdressers had opened up down the road - but that it was actually open on a sunday. That was not the disturbing part though. He told me that there was a misspelling on the board listing all the prices. The word, ladies and gentlemen, was: Kides.
Kides? What was it supposed to be? Kids? Kiddies?! It could have been either, or it could have been neither. Of course, there was also the comedy suggestion of Kites. I can, of course, picture that, too.
"What'll it be today, sir?"
"Oh, just a bit off the string, thanks...."
We still don't know why they were open on a sunday - perhaps in the hope of finding a passer by to correct the sign, but I can't help wondering if the two are connected.
Perhaps hairdressers have a replacement for the days when they used to sell condoms....
"Something for the weekend, sir? A Walls, perhaps? Some Richmonds, maybe..... Pork or beef?"
These are shocking times we live in. Shocking times indeed.....
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