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Shaken

Record released on 2003-08-20 at 7:02 p.m.

Today's been hard. I'm feeling shaken and exhausted by it. Various things went wrong today, including being sent out to do the office shopping when my boss had a brain blip and forgot that it's not a part of my job and dragging one heavy bag plus a packet of 20-something loo rolls back left me completely frazzled for the rest of the day. I also got accosted by various charity people (at whom I waved the loo rolls crossly to scare them off), had a rude, anonymous phone call at work from some posh woman going on about a Jaguar, and almost got bowled over by two gits on skateboards singing a Ronan Keeting song.

But it was the train ride which got me. A drunken man grabbed my ankle and wouldn't let go.

It completely freaked me out. It scared me shitless. Things like this always have more of a terror to them if you have things in your past that it makes you flash right back to. It was only a bloody 5 minute journey home. Just five minutes, that's all. The train was packed, just one seat available. In front of the empty seat were two young me, both drinking, both stinking of alcohol and both completely pissed. Just two minutes from my stop, the man directly in front of me reached down beneath his seat to grab his beer but couldn't locate it. He found my ankle instead.

A normal or sober person would have let go and apologized. But this bloke was both drunken and nasty, and he wouldn't let go at all. He clung to it, tighter and tighter. I screeched and tried to pull my foot away, but the man thought grabbing my foot was the funniest thing he'd ever done and the more I struggled the tighter he held. I was struggling so hard that my shoe fell off and both the man and his friend were laughing drunkenly. No one in the train tried to do a fucking thing to stop him. In the end, I had to literally rip my foot from his grip, grab my shoe back and rush out the carriage as quickly as I could.

I spent the last few minutes in the vestibule while he and his friend laughed drunkenly, slurring to each other about how it was the closest he'd come to 'having' a woman all year and finally locating the missing beer on the table beside the window. What made it even worse was the fact that we were stuck outside of the station for several minutes, awaiting a space on the platform so I was stranded there with a whole train-worth of eyes on me.

It just really shook me up today. I could have done without that. Now I need to spend the next few weeks fighting to put it out of my mind. Now I have to remember it every time I get on a fucking train and argue with myself to force myself not to be scared.

Perhaps I could borrow a skateboard from one of the two gits who almost knocked me flying instead. It happened in Tunnel Road as I was walking to the station. Tunnel road is exactly what it says on the tin - it's a tunnel that used to be a road but it now for pedestrians only. Today, two young lads of about 17 or 18 were speeding in my direction on skateboards, one either side of me. This was not unusual - I've seen skateboarders there before. But there was one very different thing about this pair.

They were wearing the typical attire that you'd expect, looked like the type of people who might listen to Eminem or Slipknot, but from their mouths belted at enormous volume a very flat, very bad version of You Say It Best When You Say Nothing At All. Word perfect, as far as I could tell. And they were so proud of themselves for singing it so well. I laughed my head off - I couldn't help it. Their rush of air knocked me off balance for a moment but the entertainment was worth it.

It was such a shame that such a funny moment was ruined so soon afterwards. Sleeping tonight will not be easy. What the hell is wrong with the human race?

What's On: Hole Me Now by the Thompson Twins

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Starting Again? - 2005-06-11
Returning - 2004-08-16
Just Wondering - - 2004-07-30
Birthday - 2004-02-23
A New Year - 2003-12-31



grrr // Jaye
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All lyrics ramblings � Little Miss X, with painkillers on backing vocals, 'toises on drums and Izzles on the musical toilet rolls. And if you would like to know more about the music *I* enjoy, see my playlist. Best viewed in 800x600 and with a pair of eyes and a sense of humour.With thanks to Diaryland.

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