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Uh oh, not him again

Record released on 2003-08-10 at 7:27 p.m.

Helloooooo. Good evening. Salutations. It's Y again. X is currently busy watching her favourite cartoons - The Cramp Twins, Lloyd In Space and Little Bill - and so is too busy to do any entries currently. But when she does come back, I'm sure she'd appreciate it if she could hear from fellow fans of these cartoons. I mean, she SAYS they're crap, but heh, I know otherwise.

So anyway, it's my second guest stint here. Last time I think I ranted about shops or something. But today I'm going to rant about football, mainly because it's the new football season imminently and because I think I rant best when I'm talking about football.

If you're not a football fan, look away now. Heh, a little gag there for football fans. Ugh, never mind.

Right, you might have heard of this David Beckham chap. He plays football. No really! He does! In between promotional tours and ill-advised hairstyles, he does actually play some football. Of course, what he is promoting is open to some debate, but I'll leave that to you to decide.

Yeah, he plays football. Not as well as so-called experts would make out, mind you. It's interesting to note that when you hear current players talking about the world's greatest footballers, David Beckham rarely gets mentioned. Because he's just not as good as everyone makes out. He is good. Just not great. He wasn't even the best player at Manchester United. Paul Scholes, Roy Keane or Ruud Van Nistelrooy (or for the person who once famously found my old Diaryland journal looking for this particular Dutch footballer through Google - 'Ruud Vand Neesteroyd') were and are the best players.

I'm past caring about the ridiculous level of hype afforded to David Beckham in the media. It is boring to the extreme. I now sit and laugh at the fact that the BBC has a specially appointed Beckham Correspondent. Oh yes. Presumably to get that job he had to speak monosyllabically and kick Argentinians.

But I am baffled as to why he is acclaimed as such a great footballer. He should instead be acclaimed as a talented footballer who has used his talents very well. I expect him to do well at Real Madrid and fit in better than people expect, however, but he will be outshined by Raul, Zidane and Figo.

Also, currently we have this team called Chelsea who've been taken over by some Russian bloke who has more money than sense. Obviously. He took over Chelsea, after all. He's come in and spent about �90 million on new players this summer prompting everyone to proclaim Chelsea as the next champions of England. I say bollocks.

Imagine, if you would, that you had knitted a jumper. It's not the perfect jumper, but you think it's pretty good. But then somebody buys you a ball of wool. Instead of saving that ball of wool for when you really need it, such as when a thread comes out of the jumper, you knit the ball into the jumper you've got making it a lot bigger but not really improving it. That's the analogy I would draw to what's happened at Chelsea this summer.

Woah, I wonder if anyone's ever used knitting analogies when writing about football before. COPYRIGHTED. Ta.

So Chelsea have now got about 25 international players fighting for 11 places. One of three things will happen.

1) The 25 players will get on splendidly, and the 14 players forced to spend their professional careers sat on a substitutes bench will happily await their turn in the first team. Chelsea's new-found harmony will propel them to many honours.

2) The 14 players not playing regularly will get pissed off because they're actually good enough to play, will revolt, lead to ructions and disruption in the Chelsea camp, and Chelsea will win precisely piss all.

3) I will laugh. LONG AND HARD.

I think you will find that options 2 and 3 are most likely.

One more thing about football that I want to moan about before I go though is players celebrations.

"Dear professional football players, semi-professional players, amateur football players, and kids having a 29-a-side game in the school playground,

Please could you refrain, when and if you score a goal, from doing that celebration where you dive across the pitch. It was funny when Jurgen Klinsmann did it - BUT THAT WAS 7 YEARS AGO. Please stop. Now.

Yours sincerely, Y.

PS. Also. Please kick Lee Bowyer if you ever play against him. Thanks."

I think that will do now. I think X will be around within the next couple of days, so I'll be locked away for another couple of months. Get well soon, X. xxxxxxxxxxx

Oh, quickly, before I go, could somebody please give Britain its proper weather back. THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANY MORE.

What's On: Just Because by Jane's Addiction

Next: Um, probably New Order, knowing me

Quote of the Moment: "Weather forecast for tonight - dark." - George Carlin

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Fantastic Double CD Includes Tracks:
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Starting Again? - 2005-06-11
Returning - 2004-08-16
Just Wondering - - 2004-07-30
Birthday - 2004-02-23
A New Year - 2003-12-31



grrr // Jaye
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All lyrics ramblings � Little Miss X, with painkillers on backing vocals, 'toises on drums and Izzles on the musical toilet rolls. And if you would like to know more about the music *I* enjoy, see my playlist. Best viewed in 800x600 and with a pair of eyes and a sense of humour.With thanks to Diaryland.

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Check out great albums by the following artists: ......And many, many more!