# Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn't go on
Then the door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew then disappeared
The curtains flew then he appeared
Saying don't be afraid
Come on baby... And she had no fear
And she ran to him... Then they started to fly
They looked backward and said goodbye
She had become like they are
She had taken his hand
She had become like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper...#
Funny, isn't it, how you can love a song and listen to it over and over and then all of a sudden you *listen* to the lyrics rather than just *hearing* them and they send a shiver down your spine. That's what happened when Don't Fear the Reaper played a moment ago.
Tomorrow morning I'm going to begin my portrait of Laura Sadler. It will be the first pencil portrait I'll have done in 2 years. I don't know why it has been so long since I used pencil. I've only used paint for the last few years. But pencil always felt more intimate somehow. It certainly feels right for my tribute.
Walking into a paper shop today I was greeted by a row of magazines with pictures of her on the cover and I immediately felt a great sadness all over again. It was a bizarre moment for several reasons; the main one being the urge to cry over nothing more than a row of magazine covers, and another one being because the strangest function kicked in - in the most bizarre of ways it had awoken the Bugs reflexes because as I grabbed a magazine with a full cover of her I thought, 'Oh, better buy two copies' as I used to when Bugs was on the cover of something or one of my absolute favourite girls was. I think that gave me an indications of just how much I liked Laura Sadler. I hope mu picture will do her justice tomorrow.
I have just done the first in a series of Sampras-a-likes, which will be appearing one a day over the next few days. Some scary things turned up on the web search when I was trying to find the picture of today's lookalike, mind you :/ I find the Google image search to be a terrifying and sadistic thing sometimes!
Ahh, I've had a great day. Truly great. Well, apart from the Christine Hamilton lookalike at the station, but you can't have everything I guess. Today I felt healthier than I've felt in 6 months or more. It was just as well really with everything that happened in the end! I will pay for it tomorrow - I abused my energy with selfish, writing-book shopping and now I'm exhausted - but for today I felt pretty damn good.
I had a wonderful morning as well. I got a cheque in the post for �100 from the last five weeks or so of design sales when I wasn't expecting a cheque until the middle of August and my lovely boss from the art side of my life had also sent me a photo of her baby and a poem she'd written. It really touched me. It made me smile so much. It made me smile as I thought back to how terrified I was the first time I took my designs there, almost 2 years ago, and I felt sure she was fed up of me turning up like a bad penny every few weeks with more design sheets! Now I know that she looks on me as a friend and colleague, and that just makes me feel so happy.
The other part of my post this morning wasn't half as exciting. It was a bloody leaflet from ClearVision, who I ordered a Bugs video from weeks ago and despite having a rant down the phone at them there's still no sign of it! As though I'd buy anything *else* from them now! But they had indeed sent me a full catalogue of their titles, including seemingly a hundred Taggart videos and some terrifying, vintage tapes of The Bill. Guess what part of my post today went in the bin?? :)
The day was sunny and bright as I went to work. I was only intending to stay for an hour but with two people leaving today it felt like an end-of-term atmosphere - you know, the way it used to feel on the last day of school before summer when you had to take your work off the walls and empty your tray. Yeah, that's about right for today.
There was no work done by anyone. We all had a chat and a laugh, joked around, shared stories (bizarrely we had an hour long conversation about fish) and I spent half the time supplying the four of us with endless cups of coffee and tea. Then my boss decided it was fish and chips all round - which was fine by me because I was going to get some anyway :) This way I got them for free! We all ate with our fingers, just to be completely uncivilized, and the whole office smelt of fish afterwards! I bet it will be ripe over the next few days. heh heh!
There was also much hilarity when the two leaving ladies were doing impressions of the executive comittee's president, who I'll be meeting for the first time at the AGM a week on Monday, and in the middle of their impressions she actually phoned up.... Bizarrely they kept doing their impressions, leaving my boss in serious danger of giggling on the phone. When he hung up he said worriedly that she'd been threatening a 'surprise' for the office, which Gill knew to be a painting but no one knows what of.
"It could be a picture of herself??" I suggested.
"Now that's a thought!" my boss laughed as we all reeled in horror at the thought of it, and now we're all fully expecting her to award us a looovely picture of herself, all dressed up in her chains from when she was mayor of some place a few years ago. Eeek!
I don't think any of us wanted to leave as we were having such a good time, but finally we had to. I had about 50 minutes before my train arrived so I decided to take advantage of my energy and go shopping. However, I made the mistake of buying all the bloody heavy stuff first and weighing myself down with 3 heavy writing books for the next half an hour! I bought 2 A4 sized books for writing in since I appear to have gone back into writing fiction with a vengence, and a thick, heavy A5 book as my new plotline book as the old one is almost full.
That's when I went, laden, into the newsagents and saw all the magazines lined up. I bought them, feeling very sad. I also bought Y a couple of presents.... well, one was from me and one was from Izzles..... and I put my cheque in the building society but found a rather creepy man at the counter demanding that the staff not allow Small Childs to play with the strange wooden toy there. Hmm.
When I got to the station, my train ended up cancelled. A jigsaw of an announcement came on - all the different pieces of announcement put together in one long strip, and while the fake voice apologised profusely for the disruption I sat on the platform, took my shoes off to let my toes breathe, and read my magazines. I just let the world pass me by. I felt peaceful. I felt content.
I had a bloody good day :)
Back tomorrow xx
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