Today, ladies and gentlemen, the unthinkable, nee impossible, happened.
And just a little of my faith in human kind was restored.
You'll remember my encounter with the workmen from last week and my little outburst. After days of abuse, bad language and disturbing comments I finally snapped and bit back.
Today was the first day since my confrontation that I passed those roadworks again. Bizarrely they seemed to have progressed from the pavement to the road with a huge sodding drill that actually sounded worse from inside the building than out. Walking along the pavement I still felt nervous. I'd gotten used to the foul comments and slimey looks, and I had expected more of them but today all was quiet on the western front. Almost too quiet. I'd never seen such a well behaved bunch of people.
I turned the corner to head down to work but halfway down the road I heard a voice calling,
"Excuse me..... excuse me...."
I didn't turn around because I couldn't think why anyone would be calling me but the voice called again and again so finally I stopped. When I looked around, the man with the foulest mouth, the one who'd labelled me an f*ing nice piece of arse, was coming my way. And he looked ashamed.
"I just wanted to apologise for what I said last week," he said, "...I just didn't know..... If I'd have known I wouldn't have done it..... you don't look like one...."
I wasn't too pleased with that comment and considered snapping at him that we've not worn a uniform since the dungaree law was revoked, but his apology was actually sincere so I let it go.
"It's OK," I told him, "It's just not very nice and it freaked me out. It was unnecessary and unwanted."
"I'm sorry," he said again, "It's just that.... I didn't know."
"That's the problem," I said, "people assume. People assume everyone is the same as everyone else, when we're all different."
Plu, I wasn't too happy with the fact that his apology had seemed to be based on the fact that he'd not have yelled if he'd known I was gay. I wanted him to know that he shouldn't have said those things to anyone, not gay, straight or anything in between, so before I let him off the hook I gave him a short, firm but polite lecture on just a few of the different reasons why he should not say such things, ever, and why different people will find it hurtful, even terrifying, just as I did. By the end of it he seemed truly ashamed of himself. It wasn't put on, there was no waffle involved. I was shocked.
I accepted his apology. He said he was sorry a few more times, and then left. I was left completely dumbfounded.
And after work, when I went to go home and passed the roadworks, I saw that not only was he no longer pestering me but - for today at least - he wasn't giving anyone else any trouble either. He didn't make a single remark as anyone in front of me walked by, and when I went to pass he simply stood back and smiled politely. I thanked him for his apology and told him it was gratefully received. And then I carried on walking home, with just a little bit of my faith in humanity restored.
How long he'll behave for I don't know. maybe he's learned his lesson or maybe in a few days, in a new place with new roadworks he'll start up again until he happens to annoy another person to such extremes that they, too, bite back.
When I was bullied at school people always told me to stick up for myself. Back then I couldn't. I didn't have it in me. Now? I'm a different person. If I'd have stood up for myself back then, everyone would have laughed in my face. Ironically, it was schoolkid mentality that I seemed to triumph over this time. It felt good. Really good.
Lesbian 1, Workman 0!
I suppose that's my one good deed to community for the day at least. I need salvation now I've sold my soul to the devil :) Ahh yeah, too many people leaving Diaryland, no other way to keep in touch, and too many people I know now who never even used it at all. I like keeping up with lives. I don't like losing track. Thanks, Penny :)
Holby City is on. Before the show, a picture of Laura Sadler flashed up, the same they've been using for days, and an unfeeling voiceover said,
"Sadly, Laura Sadler who played Sandy in the series died last week. her family have requested that we show her remaining episodes as a tribute."
And now there she is, on the screen, large as life, happy, smiling.
Gone.
It still seems unreal.
I am off now to celebrate my day's success. Have a good evening, everyone :) xx
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