I'm pretty sure I can't still be alive after the last few days. I've actually never had a bleed this bad, and considering some of the bleeds I've had in the past this is really saying something. I've definitely gone quite anaemic this time desite the iron tablets. I'm pretty sure that the Depo is behind the severity of this one. I thought I'd spare you the last few days of details - I know it's not particularly nice to read.
And besides, writing about it doesn't seem to help any more. A couple of years ago it helped me to come to terms with what I went through each month but as time's gone by and the pain has worsened the words have just lost their meaning. Perhaps there just are no expressions left to express the intensity of the pain any more. I have given up ever finding relief now. Operations have never eased it, and even when everything that shouldn't be there has been removed the bleeds are as painful and severe as they were before.
I really feel bad about not having been around the last few days. In the past the one thing I've always managed to do is to hang about online, usually more than normal, but this time sitting at the computer has been too hard and so has typing. The fatigue is also affecting me really badly at the moment. Every time I lay down I fall asleep, my throat is ulcerated again and every limb feels too heavy to move. I'm back at work tomorrow as well - it should be interesting trying to walk down the road like this! I'll take a sweep stake on how far I get before I fall over ;)
Of course, the television has been adding insult to injury by showing me a selection of ever-more-awful TV shows over the last few days. All I wanted was some decent entertainment to cheer me up, but what did I get? Yet another Sabrina marathon in Nickelodeon! Argh!
In other news, I have decided to attempt to get an audition to become a QVC presenter! Yes, that's right, QVC. Y spotted an advert saying they wanted to recruit new presenters, no broadcast experience necessary, so of course I was going to have a go. Yes, I know realistically I have absolutely zero chance of becoming a presenter, but I thought it would be a real laugh to at least have a go at getting an audition! Come on, it's QVC - they're not after brains or beauty.... have you seen some of the people who've presented there?!
Yup, I think it would be my ideal job. let's look at the evidence: the presenters only work a couple of days a week, they get paid grandly, and they get to spout a load of drivel about products that no one in their right mind would buy. It sounds ideal for me ;) OK, so I may have no presenting or sales experience but look how I blagged it with the tattoo designs - and 2 years on I'm still doing that so I must have done OK :) I'm going to beef up my CV later and make it look as though I'd fit right in! I shall keep you posted!
After all, if you don't try then you'll never know!
I promise over the next couple of days I'll be getting back to whatever passes for normal service. In the meanwhile I'm going back to bed for I have painkillers to take and Sabrina marathons to avoid :) xxx
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