Oh..... My.....
Today I met a completely new species.
A helpful doctor.
Where have they all been hiding?! I'm presuming Little Miss Lifesaver today wasn't the only one, now I know they exist. Oh my goodness, now that really is one for The X Files!
Before I go, I've got some random hugs for people. First of all, huge hugs for Nicole, just because she deserves them for being such a sweet, funny and unbelievably strong person. She deserves more hugs than I can give so everyone else should go and give her some too :) And also some for Sparkley who's given me some great ideas for some more diaryrings and who's given me a fair few smiles lately :)
Well, on the subject of smiles it was about the first time ever that I left the surgery with a smile on my face today. Which is far more than I walked in with. Usually it's the other way round. I always go in smiling, hoping that somehow if I try to act as cheery as possible that it will somehow encourage my GP to come up with a solution, and then I always leave with a stormcloud brewing overhead. Today was different. I had decided there was only one thing for it - try another doctor. And this time I wanted to see a female doctor. It might seem old fashioned but I just think that however understanding a doctor is, a male doctor will never understand the workings of a female body as well as a woman does and vice-versa.
But on top of that I've lost all respect and trust for my GP. How can i trust him to have my best interests at heart after the fiasco with the injection? I always felt rushed and pressured by him. There was always only one solution to him and if you didn't agree to it then you got a cold, steely stare. I've always made the mistake of learning as much as I could about any medical problems or medication that I've had and doctors generally don't like that. But I've learnt you need to be prepared so that you don't walk out the door clutching a piece of paper with a prescription for something which only 'might' work this time, next time, in two years time, when it's never worked before.
So I called up this morning (after being cut off twice) and booked an appointment with a doctor who I think i saw once, about 4 years ago. I was very, very nervous, but I had no Vibes Of Doom as I did when I was given the Depo. In fact, I had Anti-Doom vibes if anything :) I made my way to the surgery and waited, whilst watching the Terrifying Gang of Small Childs wrecking the children's section of the room. One of them had a small Doodles toy which I jealously stared at and wished to capture ;)
And then my name was called, so feeling as though i was slinking off to a torture chamber I headed off. I must have looked terrified as I went through the door. I was so paranoid that I thought my regular GP would recognize my footsteps as I went past his door! I knocked nervously on the door of room number 5 and went through, then I sat down and tried to work out how to begin.
"I really need a female point of view," I said. (Fact.) "My regular doctor is great (anti-fact) but he's never had a period in his life and probably never will."
This broke the ice and she laughed gently. I made a promise to make it as quick as possible and managed to condense 7 years of medical history into about 90 seconds. The short-short version. Agonizing periods, heavy bleeding, operations, pills, painkillers, glandular fever, depo, argh! I told her though, first and foremost, that i wanted to come off that damn shot even if it meant going back on a pill which still gave me breakthrough bleeding. I explained that perhaps if I'd been in perfect health I could have stood it for longer (anti-fact - I'm getting so much pain that I can't stand any more of it) but with the CFS as well, it's a knock-on effect making it worse.
She said, "Well, at first I was going to say the same thing, that you should stick with it, but now I've heard the full story I can see that's not going to do you any good."
Imagine a movie-esque sound effect of a church choir singing "Hallelujah!" at that moment. That is the first time in history that a doctor has actually listened to what I have said and understood my point of view.
She gave me options that no one has before. She looked through more information than my regular GP ever has done and has even found me an alternative to the one pill that used to work. It has the same ingredients about might still cause a little breakthrough bleeding because it's a slightly lower dose - but only *slightly*. Why was this not suggested before? Hmm. But this time I'm prepared for that - it's got to be better than what was happening with the injection.
I had to laugh when she asked me if I'd had any blood tests though :) Oh yes....
"I think I've lost more blood from my arm than anywhere else," I said.
And when I explained that because I've been so ill as a result of the injection that I've lost so much weight, she smiled and joked, "That's DEFINITELY not supposed to happen with depo!"
So for the first time I actually left the surgery smiling. I'd met a human being instead of a brick wall today. With any luck I can get this bleeding stopped for a while at least. I feel extremely relieved to have gotten that appointment over with. Phew!
Last night I also experienced another once in a lifetime event. I watched from start to finish an ITV sitcom which didn't make me want to throw myself under a bus. Now that doesn't happen very often! I think it was called Hardware. I wasn't even intending to watch it, I just left it on whilst I was texting Y and I realised after a minute or two that I was actually watching it. I can't say as it was laugh-out-loud funny, but it was at least bearable which is a start. I get the feeling it could improve. Could this be yet another new species developing?! A watchable sitcom from ITV?! Never let it be said!
Ugh. Unfortunately I'm still in pain right now so I'm off to slink away and rest ready for work tomorrow. Oooh, the new computer arrives at the office on Wednesday and I get the fun job of setting it up. As I told them, I'm fine with the setting up as soon as it's plugged in - it's the getting the monitor out the box I have trouble with :)
Take care, everyone!
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